Things I Have Learned: Love

Ephesians 5:25-28

It seems as though any time God teaches me a new lesson in my marriage, it revolves around me being selfish. Leading up to my hospital stay, I had a very humbling experience. I became so weak that I could not keep my eyes open. I could not feed myself because the spoon was too heavy. I had spit wiped from my mouth and even chewing food was exhausting. I was only eating about one meal a day spaced out because it took so much effort. By my side through all of it was my wife. She was demonstrating sacrificial love and I felt every bit of it.

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Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5:25-28

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There have been many times in our marriage when I would get annoyed because Michelle would ask me to help her with something. It felt like I had just sat down in my recliner when she would ask for something, or I would get annoyed because the phone would ring and it was inconvenient. Most of the time I tried to hide my annoyance, but sometimes I would let it show. I had an expectation that she would be like me. It sounds stupid even as I type this.

I have always considered myself very independent. I can cook and clean. There are things that I like to leave for Michelle, but I do not have to. I have always recognized that she is better equipped at handling some areas of our marriage than I am. That being said, I could step into almost any role if I needed to. Or at least I thought so, until I couldn't.

Going from independent to completely dependent will make you think. As Michelle rubbed my hands and suctioned my spit in the hospital, I realized just how selfish of a jerk I had been. I made sure to tell her as much. She was sacrificing for me, and all I could remember was complaining. I don't know how many husbands have this problem, but I do know that I am not unique in this. That is why Paul wrote the command to husbands.

Jesus is the model for how we are to love our wives sacrificially. He both lived and died for His bride, the church. As we consider His example, we should imitate that in our marriage as well. When we think about the cross, getting out of a chair to open a jar seems little. Taking out the trash is no longer a burden. Paul says that Jesus loved the church so that she becomes more beautiful in her character and he says that husbands should love their wives the same way.

I do not want to be the same husband I was. As God shows me areas that I need to grow in, I want to grow. Outside of my relationship with God, the most important relationship I have is that with my wife. It is to be an example of Jesus to the world. The only way that works is if I am loving my wife like Jesus loves the church. I want to do better.

Father, thank You for giving Jesus as an example of not just how we are to live as individuals, but how we are to live in our relationships. You gave me Michelle. Help me to love her more each day because I become more like You each day!