The office of Pastor (part 4)

I Timothy 3:1-7

I have known several pastors over the years whose wives ruined their ministry. Some of them are no longer in the ministry because their wife said "no". While we have seen clearly that women are not called to be pastors, the wife of a pastor is very much a part of his ministry. She can either make him, or break him. The same is true for children. No family is perfect, and that includes the pastor's family. They need to receive the same grace that others would want to be extended concerning their own family. However, grace is not a license to sin and neglect the training of children. The first mission field a pastor serves on is his own family. A man who does not provide for his own family, including their spiritual needs is worse than an unbeliever (I Timothy 5:8).

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“This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”

I Timothy 3:1-7

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"A bishop then must be...one who rules his own house well". The word translated "rules" comes from two Greek words that mean "to stand above". While it is true that a leader rules "over' those who are beneath them, there is another application here as well. While the man has been placed as the head of his home, being over his family puts him between them and God. In other words, he answers to God before his family does. When the home is out of order, God looks to him as the head of the home. This is why there is so much said about how the husband/father is to conduct himself in the home. The standard for the husband is Christ (as Christ also loves the church and gave Himself for her - Ephesians 5:25). The standard for the father is God the Father (But now, O LORD, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand. Do not be furious, O LORD, Nor remember iniquity forever; Indeed, please look—we all are Your people! - Isaiah 64:8,9).

Speaking of God being Father, Isaiah lays out the responsibilities of a father. Paul said that the pastor should have "his children in submission with all reverence". Going back to the text in Isaiah, a father is to mold his children. This means teaching and discipline. Also, even though he disciplines, he should be forgiving as well. He should not hold grudges against his children or wife because he is modeling to them who God is. They should be glad to call him dad because his love is undeniable. Let me say that again, the man is a picture to his family of who God is. That is a responsibility that he should take very seriously.

Paul says that a man being fit to pastor hinges on his ability to lead his home. If he cannot lead his home, how in the world will he lead the church? If he neglects his primary responsibility, why should anyone trust him to be faithful to a lesser responsibility? If he does not care for the souls of his one flesh and blood, will he truly care for the souls of others? Truly the home is our first responsibility to love, evangelize, and nurture. If we do that well, then we can pastor the church well.

Father, we have been given an awesome responsibility that is too great for us to handle. We need You to teach us, guide us, strengthen us, and equip us to represent You well in both our homes and our churches that we pastor. To those who are not pastors, lead them to pray for us. May they hold us accountable, but also be vessels of Your grace and mercy by which You help us in this journey.