No Cheating

Deuteronomy 5:18

Last year I had to observe a teacher as part of my professional development. She started her students on an assignment, and in a somewhat humorous way told them to keep their eyes on their own papers. She said, "Just like I tell my husband, if your eyes are wandering, you are cheating". While this probably makes us smile, or even chuckle, most of us would also agree. However, we may not make the connection that Jesus said basically the same thing. He worded it like this, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). In the previous verse, He references our text for today.

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You shall not commit adultery.

Deuteronomy 5:18

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In Hebrew, there are two words that make up this verse. It could be simplified as "No adultery", but what does that mean? The word adultery means to break the bonds of marriage. At this time, it was not a ceremony that actually made a couple married, but rather the act of consummating the marriage. Here is an example from the Bible.

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Then Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel; for she had said to the servant, “Who is this man walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took a veil and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

Genesis 24:64-67

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There was no ceremony. Abraham sent the servant to find a bride for his son. The servant returned with Rebekah and they consummated the marriage relationship. She became his wife. Now, for both of them, any relationship outside of marriage was adultery.

Some might ask, "Well, what about polygamy?" While many of the people in the Old Testament did have multiple wives, this does not mean that God was behind it. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh". Notice that "wife" is singular. Paul further clarified this in Ephesians 5:31 when he said it this way, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." The pattern was set by Adam and Even.

There are a lot of things that can be shared with friends and even strangers that are also part of the marriage relationship. Meals can be shared. Conversations can be shared. Tools or supplies can be shared. However, that which makes a marriage different from any other relationship is intimacy. This means both emotional and physical intimacy. A husband and wife should have an intimacy in their relationship that is not shared with anyone else.

Husbands and wives should guard their eyes because they do not need to see in others that which should only be seen in their spouse. Husbands and wives should guard their ears because they should not hear from others, what they should only hear from their spouse. Husbands and wives should guard their tongues because they should not speak to others what they should only speak to their spouse. Husbands and wives should guard their hearts because they should not feel for others what they should only feel for their spouse. If they do this, then the marriage bed will remain undefiled (Hebrews 13:4), and they will avoid God's judgment.

Father, this world puts so many lures in front of us to draw us away. We are surrounded by the message that marriage is cheap and easily thrown away. Intimacy is to be shared with whoever we desire. This is not what You designed. This is not what You created us for. Strengthen us to not fall into temptation. Deliver us from the evil that this world would lure us into.