Elders In The Church

I Timothy 5:1-2

At the first church I pastored, there was a retired pastor in the congregation. I thought that he was going to be a great asset to me as I was starting out. Reality proved very different. I learned the hard way that the title of pastor and age did not guarantee Godliness or Christian character. For a while the experience, which played out for over a year, soured me to pastoring. I developed a mindset that I could not be friends with or even trust church members. I taught and counseled, but everything went one way. I shared nothing and seldom asked for prayer about personal matters.

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”Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.”

I Timothy 5:1-2

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As bad as the aforementioned situation was, God placed me in my current church with men who are both elders and desire to live Godly. Paul's teaching to Timothy involved a "do not" and a "do". The "do not" is that Timothy should not rebuke or chastise the elder. The Greek word translated "rebuke" comes from two words that literally mean "to strike upon". A child is spanked by the father, not the other way around. It also means to correct verbally, but it still means to discipline. Paul is telling Timothy that he should respect his elders. Once upon a time, people in America were taught the same concept. Now, our elders are looked down upon. They move too slow, drive too slow, take too long to tell a story. They do not understand all the current technology, do not agree with cultural norms and what society accepts. Many people want them to get out of the way or go away. They are thought to be an inconvenience and made to feel that way, as well. Sadly, this is how many children view their aging parents also. Paul told Timothy to view older men like fathers and older women like mothers. He was to love them, respect them, and honor them just like he would his biological parents. This is God's command to us as well, not just to pastors. So, how are we treating the elders in our own churches? The Greek word translated "exhort" is the word "Parakaleo". It literally means "to come along side". Jesus used this word as a title for the Holy Spirit. He is our "paraklete" or "Comforter" (John 15:26). The idea is that we are to walk side by side with our elders. We may provide physical stability along the journey, but we should listen as they speak. There are lessons to learn, history to be taught, experiences to be shared, and wisdom to impart. What if the elder is wrong? While this is not taught in this particular passage, we should speak with them in humility and love. We do the opposite of what teenagers stereotypically do. It is possible to tell a person they are wrong without ever telling them they are wrong. Truth, spoken in love, will do the work itself. There is no need to say "You are wrong" or "You don't know what you are talking about". We would do well to remember that we do not like being dressed down like that, so why do we treat anyone else like that.

Father, help me to not act like a teenager. I do not like for teens to speak to me with disrespect, so help me to remember to not speak to my elders that way. Help me to remember that I am supposed to walk alongside them in this journey. Help me also to remember that I need to listen to them far more than I speak.