Cutting Ties

Nehemiah 13

Before I even begin, I want to tell you why I picked this image. I like it because it is not delicate. Axes are not delicate tools. They both cut and break. Seldom do they do their work with a single strike. An ax uses brute force and persistence; accuracy helps too. So, what does that have to do with Nehemiah 13? I'm glad you asked. Let's look at some verses from this chapter.

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And before this, Eliashib the priest, having the oversight of the chamber of the house of our God, was allied unto Tobiah: 5 And he had prepared for him a great chamber, where aforetime they laid the meat offerings, the frankincense, and the vessels, and the tithes of the corn, the new wine, and the oil, which was commanded to be given to the Levites, and the singers, and the porters; and the offerings of the priests.

Nehemiah 13:4-5

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OK, so what? Why is this important? Well, if we remember back to Nehemiah 2, Tobiah was one of the enemies who harassed Israel. "But when Sanballat the Horonite, and Tobiah the servant, the Ammonite, and Geshem the Arabian, heard it, they laughed us to scorn, and despised us, and said, What is this thing that ye do? will ye rebel against the king?" (Nehemiah 2:19). Tobiah is showing out because he has been in a position that he knew was wrong according to Jewish law. Now ( in chaper 2), this new guy is here and threatening his way of life. So, he tried to run Nehemiah off before things changed. He and his friends were unsuccessful, and now it is time for change.

The Priest Eliashib was allowing a forbidden Gentile to partake in Holy offerings that were only to be eaten by the priests. These things had been offered to God and Eliashib was giving them to an unclean gentile. This was a big no no!

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But in all this time was not I at Jerusalem: for in the two and thirtieth year of Artaxerxes king of Babylon came I unto the king, and after certain days obtained I leave of the king: 7 And I came to Jerusalem, and understood of the evil that Eliashib did for Tobiah, in preparing him a chamber in the courts of the house of God. 8 And it grieved me sore: therefore I cast forth all the household stuff of Tobiah out of the chamber. 9 Then I commanded, and they cleansed the chambers: and thither brought I again the vessels of the house of God, with the meat offering and the frankincense.

Nehemiah 13:6-9

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In verses 6 and 7, Nehemiah tells us that he did not know what was going on because it was all set up before he came to Jerusalem. However, when he got to Jerusalem he learned what was taking place. Sometimes we come into a new job, a church, or even a friendship completely unaware of gross sin that is taking place. It is not until we are inserted into the relationship that we learn about the sin being practiced. Ignorance is not problematic, but what we do after we learn about the sin is very important.

In verse 8, Nehemiah reveals that he was grieved "sore" because of the sin. It broke Nehemiah's heart. It also angered him. When he learned what was going on, he could not tolerate it. What about us? What do we tolerate within the relationships we have? I'm not saying we shouldn't have relationships with sinners, because we wouldn't have any relationships at all. What I am saying is, Do we tolerate gross sin that should break our hearts? Are we just putting up with stuff for the sake of relationships and at the expense of holiness?

Notice what Nehemiah did in verse 8. He threw Tobiah's stuff out on the curb. That stuff was out for city garbage pick up. He didn't even offer for Tobiah to come get it because Tobiah had no business back in the city. Nehemiah cut ties with Tobiah and it was brutal. He hacked that relationship off. He was not delicate at all. His actions made a clear statement that he did not stand for the sins of the priest. Holiness was a must. Holiness was more important than any relationship. He would not sacrifice his people on the altar of friendships. relationships, or popularity.

I wish it was easy to know when to take this drastic step. It isn't always as easy as with Nehemiah's situation. We don't have a "Thou shalt not hang out with these people" verse. So, how do we know when to cut ties with some people?

I think a good indicator is when the relationship with one individual is putting the salvation and sanctification of others (especially children) at risk. Is an individual such a bad influence that they may lead another person right to Hell? That is hard. I have heard so many excuses for holding on, but I have also seen families destroyed for the sake of holding on to one.

I have heard it said, "You don't know what you would do until you were in their shoes." Possibly, but I would hope that I could be like Nehemiah. Not just with family, but with any relationship that was dragging others important to me closer to ungodliness and hell. Remember this, Jesus did not abandon the 99 for the one lost sheep. He left them safe and secure, and then went after the one.

Father, I pray that I do not sound like I am making such a decision trivial. It is not! This is a difficult decision to make, but sometimes it is necessary. I pray for wisdom in relationships. Help me to know when to hang on and when to let go. Father give me strength for both.